Surrender

Surrender:  to give (oneself) up to some influence, course, emotion,etc.: He surrendered himself to a life of hardship.

Luke 14:33  ³³ So then, none of you can be My disciple who does not give up all his own possessions.

One of our worship songs this morning in church was "I Surrender All"  Its an old hymn I've heard and sang in church ever since I can remember.  I love it.  One of those songs that I almost don't want to sing, but instead I'd rather just stand there and listen.  But I can't, I gotta sing it too! :)

I Surrender All by Judson W. Van DeVenter, 1896

1. All to Jesus I surrender;
   All to Him I freely give;
   I will ever love and trust Him,
   In His presence daily live.
   • Refrain:
     I surrender all,
     I surrender all;
     All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
     I surrender all.
2. All to Jesus I surrender;
   Humbly at His feet I bow,
   Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
   Take me, Jesus, take me now.
3. All to Jesus I surrender;
   Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
   Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
   Truly know that Thou art mine.
4. All to Jesus I surrender;
   Lord, I give myself to Thee;
   Fill me with Thy love and power;
   Let Thy blessing fall on me.
5. All to Jesus I surrender;
   Now I feel the sacred flame.
   Oh, the joy of full salvation!
   Glory, glory, to His Name!
6. Makes ya stop and think a little bit.  At least it should.  When you give your life to Christ, do you give it all to Him or just part of it?  Not just some of the time, not just a day or two a week, but ALL the time.  EVERYTHING.  The way you dress, the way you act, the things you do and say should reflect Christ.  I remember when the slogan WWJD was popular.  What happened to it?  Did it just phase out?  And why?  I find myself asking my kids a lot, when they are arguing with each other, or talking back, "What would Jesus think if He was standing there listening to you?"  Guess what?  HE IS!!  That's reason enough for me to surrender all that I am and all that I have.  
7. No, Im not perfect by any means.  No one is.  But imperfection is no excuse to just live partially for Christ.   Luke 14:27 says  And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
8. How about you?  
9. I Surrender All by Clay Crosse(one of my all time fav)
10. I Surrender All by The Isaac's
11. Surrender by the Newsboys
12. Devotion on Surrender

Furry Feline Friends

Its been a while since I even pulled my blog up on my computer.  As I sit and type right now, its funny, because the newest member of our family is sitting on the arm of the couch watching me type.  Actually, she's sleeping.  Its so sweet because she's either sitting next to me like shes is now or curled up on the back of the couch behind me.  You see, we decided to get my daughter a new kitty for Christmas.  It was a last minute decision.  I'd seen on a friend's Facebook page, wehre they had some kittens to give away.  By the time I'd discussed it with my husband, all the kitties were gone.  I was heart broken.  Not for just my daughter but for myself.  We use to have a big fat white cat that my sister gave us a few years ago.  He was just a baby when we got him.  I've always wanted a big fluffy kitty.  And he was perfect.  One big ball of fluff!  We tossed names around a lot and we were going to go with Boomer, but went with Stoops instead. Why Stoops?   Because my husband is a DIE hard OU fan.  My daughter was just beginning to talk when we got the cat, so when she said his name, it didnt come out Stoops...but Poots instead.  She'd call him Pootsie or Poops. Turned out the name POOPSIE fit him well.   We ended up having to put him outside not long after we got him though.  He refused to use his litterbox.  He would use the floor instead.  I would clean up the mess, move the litterbox and then he'd find a different location to use.  I'd had enough.  So out he went.  He seemed to be more content outside too.  He was always a bit moody from the start.  And dont ever try to pet him anywhere--except just behind his little ears.  Other wise, CHOMP--he'd try to bite ya.
Through the big snow storm we had a few years ago, to the miserable heat 2 summers in a row, he survived outside.  But sadly, we discovered he was missing a few months ago.  And then about 3 weeks ago, my husband found what was left of the cat, in our back lot.  Just a pile of fur and bones. =(
My assumption is that a dog got through the fence from neighbors behind our house.
I miss that grouchy old fat cat. He may be gone, but he won't be forgotten.
And so, thats where the story of the new kitty, CoCo, comes about.  She's about 12 weeks old.  And she's got a super sweet personality.  She was a bit skittish at first when we brought her home but thats understandable.  My daughter keeps her in her bedroom with her.  We've managed to get her introduced to the dogs.  Our big dog, stays outside most of the time and its a good thing, because he'd squish her!
Our little dog..she's pretty curious about her still.  She won't hardly leave her alone and insists on pestering Coco to death!
She's a pretty good fit for our family.  Im so thankful that my husband found the ad when he did for her.  She was already litter box trained and that was a HUGE plus, especially considering the issues with our other cat and his NOT using the litter box.  That lil turkey.  Its been nice to have a cute curious little kitty around the house-especially one that will play for a while and then settle down and just snooze next to ya.

What is WOF?

How many of you have seen the letters WOF in the last few days?  What do those letters mean?  Just what do they stand for?  Well, I'll tell you.  They stand for WOMEN OF FAITH. Women of Faith is a faith-based women's organization encouraging women of all ages and stages in life to grow in faith and spiritual maturity through a relationship with Jesus Christ and an understanding of God’s love and grace.

This is the first year since the conferences started, 16 years ago, that I've been able to attend.  And I hope that its not only the first, but the first of MANY that I am able to attend.   I saw the posters talking about it at church WEEKS ago and I wanted to go as soon as I saw the line up.  I was all set to sign up to go and it turned out that I was not going to be able to swing going.  I just couldn't do it financially b/c some various things came up.  Seems like that always happens to me.  I was very disappointed, but didn't dwell on it too long.  And then a couple of weeks ago, while I was taking a lunch break at work, I found out that I had been given the chance to go anyway.  That was a pure gift from the Lord!  In fact, I told my husband and my parents that "God knows I NEED to go, and He's provided the way."

I was so excited about going.  I'd heard several girls talking about Patsy Clairmont in the past and what an amazing and hilarious woman she was.  OMG--I have not laughed quite so hard in so long.  Thank you Jesus for the gift of laughter.  I've heard its one of the best medicines there is.   She has over come so much in her life, emotionally and its because of her faith in Christ.  As I listened to her speak this weekend, there were several times that I thought to myself, "Im not alone.  There really ARE people who understand." 
Anxiety and depression--they are very real.  They are not just made up.  They are not issues that can just be turned off with a switch.  They can be very very serious.  I know--I've dealt with both, and still do to some extent.  One comment she made this weekend was in regards to taking medication for it.  She basically stated, that if you have to take medication to help you deal with these kinds of issues, and to help you get through your day, then do it!  And dont let ANYONE make you feel badly for it--afterall, the good Lord is the one who gave someone else the ability and brains to become doctors to treat illness and diseases.

Brenda Warner:  Talk about an awesome testimony.  I was in awe of her as I listened to her. She gave her life to Christ when she was 12.  She joined the Marine's when she was 18.   She got married and had a baby boy.  His name was Zack.   When Zack was 3 1/2 months old, he had accidentally slipped from his birth father's hands and landed on his head in the bathtub. Brenda and her husband were told that the baby had suffered traumatic brain injuries and probably would not live through the night. And if Zack did live, Brenda was told, her son would be profoundly brain-damaged and most likely unable to live anything resembling a normal life.  The little boy did live. And although his brain had been badly damaged--he is nearly blind and his motor skills are minimal--Zack is also a happy and loved child. 
She said one day her mamma was trying to get her to get out of the house.  She'd been avoiding it basically.  She shared with us that, "I decided to tell God what it was that I wanted.  After all, isn't that what we all do?"  All of us women at the conference just laughed.  She went on to tell the rest of the story with how she met her husband, NFL's own Kurt Warner.   She met him one night and the very next day he showed up on her doorstep.  He wanted to meet her kids.  And that was it.  Their love story goes on from there.  He loved her kids immediately.   She said it gain:  "He loved and cared about my kids."  Her story didn't stop with Kurt.  She lost her parents to a tornado that destroyed their home.  She was only 25 when that happened.  She spoke about the phone call she recieved from her sister, letting her know about her folks.  She went through SO much between the ages of 18-25--how can you not be in awe of someone's faith through so much?   She never gave up.  She never lost her faith in the Lord.  Brenda and Kurt have 7 kids.  And the Lord continues to bless them each and every day. 

Lisa Welchel:  LOVE her!!  Loved the fact that she brought clips from The Facts Of Life with her to share with all of us at the conference.  I've always thought she was SO pretty!!  I kept thinking the entire weekend, 'wow, its Blair!!'   However, it was not Blair Warner....it was Lisa Welchel.   She became a Christian when she was 10.  She knew that how easy it is and can be to go down the wrong path in life like many do, but she chose to go down the path  that followed the Lord.  I don't know about anyone else, but when I was a kid, I never really thought about 'people on tv' being Christians.  It was humbling to me to watch her yesterday as we sang and praised our Heavenly Father.  It was cool to sit and listen to her speak of her faith.  She spoke about prayer, the importance of friendships and the power of prayer.

Sandy Patty:  What I knew about her, was that my mother and sister have always loved to listen to her music.  I knew she had an amazing singing voice, but I have never gotten to hear it in person until this weekend.  She wanted to work at Disney Land, singing and dancing.  She auditioned when she was 18.  She got out there, sung her heart out and noticed that one of the judges dog-eared her papers.  She said she thought to herself, that had to be a good sign.  They told her they'd be calling to let her know something.  She waited, and waited and waited.  She finally decided to call and see what was going on.  They told her they loved her voice and that her singing was fabulous.  But that she hand't danced the way they had hoped she would.  The next words that would be spoken, were crushing.  "Im sorry, but your carrying a little bit too much weight."  But she didn't let that stop her from pursuing her dreams of singing.  She headed to Indiana and studied music there.  She eventually started traveling with Bill and Gloria Gaither and her singing career took off from there.  One thing she stated yesterday was that she can look back now at various things she's dealt with over the  years and instead of seeing them as disappointments, she clearly sees the Lord's hand in everything. 

Marilyn Meberg: When I first saw the poster at church for Women Of Faith, I'll admit that upon seeing her picture and even when we got to the arena yesterday, that I thought to myself, "She looks so serious.  She'll be the 'boring' one to listen to."  Quite the opposite.  She was as fun and spunky as Patsy Clairmont.   Its clear that she's a genuine dear friend to the rest of the girls on the Women Of Faith 'porch.'  She's become like a mom to a couple of the girls.  She reminds me of my grandma actually--probably because she's tall and thin.   She's got a book called, What To Do When the Roof Caves In that talks about what to do emotioinally in tough hard times.  I can't wait to get my hands on it to read.  Oh...and she loves chocolate! :)
Who doesn't?

Mandisa: What a wonderful voice!  I love to hear her sing.  She's gone from singing in her bathroom using her curling iron as a microphone, to being a finalist on American Idol, and overcoming mountains, with the Lord's help.  She's genuine and real and lets everyone know that you don't have to wear a mask.  Just be yourself.  Don't try to hide or cover anything up.  Just because your a christian doesnt mean that you don't have problems.  If your struggling, let someone know.  If you need prayers, ask!  Don't hide your feelings and emotions.  If you need to cry, CRY. Don't keep it locked up inside.  Whatever we are dealing with, God will bring us out of it and use it for His Glory.

And....Andy Andrews.  I may be mentioning him last, but he is certainly not least.  He's hailed as New York Times best selling author, a modern day Will Rogers, he has been asked to speak at the White House by 4 different US Presidents.  He lost both of his parents when he was just 19.  That in itself broke my heart to hear.  He took that bad situation and made it worse, and he eventually became homeless.  He asked himself the question, “Is life just a lottery ticket, or are there choices one can make to direct his future?”  He headed to the library and began to read various biographies.  The rest is history.  His bio can be read here:
http://www.andyandrews.com/pages/about-andy-andrews/biography/

What do all of these people have in common, other than the fact that they were all at WOF?  They are people.  And they are human.  Just like you, just like me, just like everyone.  They have good days, and they have bad days.  They go through trials and have mountains they must climb.  They have triumphs and they have disappointments.  And through each and every one of their lives, God has remained in the center. 
Each of them has a testimony of what the Lord has done in their lives, and they shared those testimonies this weekend.  All of us laughed and we cried, and we laughed some more. 
Just because someone is famous, doesn't mean that they don't have a story to share.  And it might be a story worth listening to, because it just might help someone else to know that they are never alone...because Jesus is ALWAYS there. 

OH!! I almost forgot.  We also had the privilige of hearing the fabulous Amy Grant!  No, sorry, Vince didn't make an appearance with her.  But she shared her heart through some wonderful songs. 

Psalm 91:4

Devotional I received and wanted to share.  As I read it, it was one of those, "wow" moments. 

God always knows just what I need to hear, when I need to hear it!

VERSE:
  He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you
will find refuge ...
    -- Psalm 91:4
      http://www.SearchGodsWord.org/desk/?query=Psalm+91:4

THOUGHT:
  Life is filled with many uncertainties. You never know when
something unexpected is going to happen. You have no idea when the
next disaster will strike. In a world filled with hate and
terrorism, none of us has a clue when the next horrible atrocity
will take place. So what do we do when we can't be sure of our
circumstances? We take shelter under the wing of the One who is
above all circumstances! We take assurance in our Father who has
promised to bring us to himself no matter what may happen today ...
in our world ... and to our bodies. Our lives are hidden with our
Father because we've been joined to Christ. He is our Refuge! His
wings are our shelter!

PRAYER:
  Father, what words can I offer that are sufficient to thank and
praise you for your deliverance that is greater than death? You are
the Alpha and the Omega. You are the God who was and is and is to
come. You are my Abba Father, who has adopted me and made me your
own. I place my trust, my hope, and future in you and I will not be
afraid. I find my refuge under your wings! All praise to you in the
name of Jesus. Amen.

http://www.heartlight.org/cgi-shl/todaysverse.cgi?day=20111009

Fibromyalgia...Is it really??

I've been putting off writing anything about this topic, and have only shared the most recent information with a select number of people.  Ive been going back in my mind over information from the last at least TWO years.
It actually goes back beyond that.
I have had issues with pain in my joints for years--and by years, I mean all the way back to high school.  I NEVER played sports, so I can't blame the pain on anything like that.  About a year after I graduated, I actually went to the doctor that my mom had been taking me to.  Long story short there--he said he wasn't sure why I was having so much trouble with my knees hurting.  He put me on an anti inflammatory, and sent me on my way.
I've had issues with my knees hurting off and on ever since.
I have just tried to blow it off and ignore it.  As the years have gone by, its just gotten worse.  I had a hard time getting down on the floor with my kids in my class, and then had an even harder time getting back up.  Hurt horribly to walk up and down the stairs at church, so when I could, I'd use the elevator.  I have had ONE time that I can remember that the pain levels decreased.  I was pregnant with my daughter.  A few months after she was born, all the pain issues returned and increased.
I started REALLY complaining about it and mentioning it to my primary doctor.  I was not sleeping--which I'd dealt with already for several years anyhow.  Something about my son being dx'd with an chronic incurable disease, just messed my head up and instead of sleeping, I was wide awake, the wheels in my head constantly turning and spinning 100 mph.   But the pain became SO bad, that it was all I could do to get out of bed of a morning.  My feet and my legs would hurt so bad.  I just couldn't hardly walk from the bed to the bathroom.  Which was only a couple of feet!  I was tired all of the time--and I don't mean needing a little nap here and there, I was EXHAUSTED.
Chronic fatigue syndrome.  That comes after having a case of MONO so bad when your 19, the the doctors tell your parents that you will have problems with fatigue the rest of your life.  And not only that, but that if you ever had kids, that you would have to be watched closely for severe fatigue.  And let me just tell you..I did indeed have trouble with both.  To this day, if I say I am tired, I am just that, tired.  If I say I need to lay down and rest, I NEED to lay down and rest.
I recently went to the doctor to have some blood work done.  I'd had a few days where I felt rather odd, so I checked my blood sugar with an extra glucose meter we have.  Type 2 Diabetes tends to run in my family already.  And with Colton's Type 1, I don't wanna just blow weird feelings off.  I had an A1C done--the result was a 5.8.  Its a tad high for a 'non diabetic' and means that I am at a higher risk for type 2 D.
I also had an ANA ran.  An ANA is an  antinuclear antibody test.  It is used to determine and diagnose auto immune diseases.  http://labtestsonline.org/understanding/analytes/ana/tab/test
Now, before I go ANY further.  I must back up.  So here we go beep beep beep beep..backing up....beep beep beep.
When I went to my primary doctor to discuss the way I was feeling at the time--not being able to hardly walk when I got out of bed, feeling so exhausted, feeling at times like my legs were just going to give out.  You know what it feels like when you have the flu?  Ok, take that achy, tired irritable feeling and magnify it like 3 times.  Makes you feel like you've been hit by a Mac truck.
I was almost in tears as I told this doctor the way I was feeling.  So, he did blood work then.  He ran an arthritis panel, and went ahead and sent me to a Rheumatologist.  That particular arth panel came back 'normal' as he told me.  I have no clue what the numbers for that test were though.  So here I start seeing this rheumy.  I remember that day very well.  I went in, filled out paper work and waited and waited and waited.  Gotta LOVE doctors offices!  He finally came in and started asking me a series of questions.  He noted all of my answers and proceeded to then do a series of pokes and prods all over my body.  He started touching my back/shoulders and I thought I was going to jump off of that exam table.  I mean I wanted to say, "DO NOT DO THAT!!"  After checking out my joints and asking me more questions he said I clearly had fibromyalgia.
He never suggested doing any x-rays.  He never mentioned an ANA--which I had SEVERAL people ask me if I'd ever had one done.  My response was always, "No, whats that?"
I quit seeing that particular rheumy because he made me feel like he was rushing me out of his office each time I went in for an appointment.  He'd ask me if I was feeling any better, and I'd say no, and he'd just up the meds he put me on.  Lyrica--I don't recommend it.  I couldn't tell that it helped any.  All it did was make me gian weight and make me irritable more than I already was.  When I quit seeing him, I started seeing another doctor here where we live.  I went over all of what the rheumy had said to me.  She went from telling me, "Well, we really don't treat fibromyalgia in this clinic..." to telling me, "I'd be glad to take care of your medications, and your fibromyalgia if I can help you."  I made a point more than once to say I was curious what an ANA would look like.  She never would run one.  The rheumy never would run one either.  He said it was pointless--b/c if I'd had a 'normal' arthritis panel, then an ANA would be normal.
Ok, now we are up to NOW.    I went in to see a different doctor in this clinic here.  All I did when he said he wanted to run some blood tests was to say, "I'd like to see if you can run an ANA on me as well."  He asked why I wanted it done.   All I said then, was that there had to be SOME reason for all of the pain in my joints--my knees, elbows, hands, fingers, toes--yes my toes.  My TOES hurt and I have to stretch and squeeze my toes together until they pop.  My most recent "symptom" is my hand going numb and tingly.  I thought it was just when I was driving--b/c of the way I rest my hand on the steering wheel.  But, I notice it when Im just sitting in church listening to the sermon, and even when Im just sitting watching tv at home.
And so, I got the results of the rest of the blood work yesterday.  They said that all of the results were good; but that the ANA came back positive.  I was glad at first, to know that Im not just imagining all of the pain I have.  But then I was ticked off at the same time b/c I had TWO doctors within months of each other basically tell me I didn't need an ANA ran.  Um, HELLO??? I obviously DID need an ANA ran.
It not only came back positive, but it came back a high positive.  Some of you reading this may know what they look for.  The titer number was 1:320   Believe me, I know, thats high.  Could be higher.  But just the same, its high.
I do not know what this means, I do not know what they will do next.  More tests, Im sure, as well as sending me back to a Rheumatologist.
So, do I really have fibromyalgia?  That may ineed be all it is.  They may tell me its Lupus, or some other auto immune disease.  All I know is that I am hopefully finally going to be getting some answers to the questions I've had for several years now.

Feelings

This is not the first time I've decided to write about feelings.  After all, we do all have them.  At least I think we do.  I guess there are those out there who are so stone cold to everything that they don't know how to crack a smile, shed a tear, or have a good laugh.

The last time I wrote on feelings, it was simply titled "Compassion".  What is that?  Here's the definition of compassion: Compassion is a virtue — one in which the emotional capacities of empathy and sympathy (for the suffering of others) are regarded as a part of love itself, and a cornerstone of greater social interconnection and humanism — foundational to the highest principles in philosophy, society, and personhood.

I'll give you a few seconds to ponder and chew on that one.  Go back and read it over again if you need to. 

Most who know me, know I have a very tender heart.  It doesn't take much to make me teary eyed.  And it doesn't always have to be something sad.  I have shed many tears that were happy tears.  Is that a problem that I have a soft heart?  It shouldn't be.  I'm not blind, I've seen the look on some people's faces when I start getting teary eyed about something.  Its a look of "Oh good grief, here she goes again!!!"  Well, to that I say...."WHATEVER!"    That's just who I am.  Its the way that the Lord made me and wired me to be.  It simply means that he gave me a compassionate heart.  

I don't have to know someone to show compassion for them.  I don't have to KNOW what they are dealing with.  It does help to know though, so that I know what how to lift them up in prayer.  I myself have been known to have a conversation with people and I can see the tears well up in their eyes.  And then of course, here come the water works for myself.  But that's what we are to do.  Listen, have compassion, and love one another.  

New International Version (NIV)Luke 6:31

³¹ Do to others as you would have them do to you
.
Is that really so hard to do?  Believe me, its NOT hard.  I've had people in the past that I have had words with, and just not gotten along with them.  I prayed and asked the Lord to help me with that.  I have gone to that person, apologized for the bad attitude and asked for forgiveness.  Was that hard? Uh, YA..its called letting go of pride and letting your guard down.  But it goes along with Luke 6:31..b/c you treat others the way you want to be treated.  I've heard people quote that, and they certainly don't practice it.


The whole point in me writing about this again, is because of the fact that as I have already said, I have a very tender heart.  And when I hear of someone losing their battle, with the same disease that my son fights every single day, the compassion doesnt just go away.  Instead it explodes.


Since June of 2000, I have met several families, who are also the parents of kids with diabetes.  They are the ONLY ones who REALLY understand what its like to have a child with diabetes.  The doctors don't understand--they say they do, but really?  Do THEY really?  Unless you live with it in your home, its really hard to know just what its like.  I'm very thankful to have these people in my life--its not an accident.  God places people in our lives for a reason.

Every minute across the world, 6 people die of diabetes… Either directly, or indirectly as the result of a complication. In total this disease is therefore the cause of almost 4 million deaths per year! Which is as many as those caused by AIDS. These are the figures put forward by the World Health Organization and the International Diabetes Federation (the IDF). It’s a genuine massacre which shows no sign of stopping  http://www.destinationsante.com

In the last 24 hours, there is a family who is hurting, and grieving for the loss of their loved one.  Parents have lost a son, a sister has lost her brother, kids have lost their daddy and friends have lost a friend.  That my friends, is sad.  Although at the same time, we can take comfort that he is resting in the arms of Jesus and that he has a new body that is whole and he is no longer in any pain. 

I have been talking to this young man's mom for a few weeks now, thanks to Face Book, I was able to find her and get in touch with her.  I'd been wanting to get in touch with her for some time and wasn't sure how to.  I found her on FB and was thrilled. I do not think it was an accident that I was able to find her on facebook.   You see, this mom is a mom just like myself--she has fought the same fight that I fight every day, the same fight that I have fought every day since June of 2000.  She knows how I feel.  She knows the hurt that I feel and the anxiety that I have as I watch my kid grow up with something that I can't take away from him.  I can't fix it for him.  What I can do is be there for him, pray for him that he will just accept his health.  I was given this child, to take care of, for such a time as this.  The Lord KNEW before He gave me my son, just what road lied ahead of us.  He knew.  He's not going to give us anything more than He thinks we can handle.  IT takes a special person to be the parent of a child with diabetes.  Its a tough job, and obviously the Lord thought I  could do the job. :)


Am I trying to take the sadness and heartache and turn it around on myself and my own family?  Absolutely NOT.  The whole reason for me to even write this is because of the fact that my heart truly ACHES for them.  When I first heard he was so seriously ill and in the hospital, my heart just hurt for them.  He had a stroke that was the result of Juvenile Diabetes.  Just a few weeks ago, I learned of another young lady, who is the same age as my son, who went to bed one night, seemed fine, and never woke up the next morning.  I learned yesterday of THREE other people just this past week, who have passed away, due to complications from diabetes.  


A parent should never have to bury their child.  I've heard that said several times since I was a kid growing up.  We know that this world is not our home.  Our life here on earth will not last forever, and that is the way that the good Lord intended things to be.


While you might think this was just a lot of jibber jabber, to me it was not.  Its simply stating how I feel about things.  And I as I was telling someone else earlier today, I am not going to apologize for my feelings when it comes to my son, or anyone else.  As I have said, I have a soft tender heart, its a virtue that the Lord has given to me.


While chatting with another friend last night she shared this with me: I have another friend whose child has diabetes. I have seen what they have gone through and my heart bleeds for them. Their daughter has to have an insiline pack on her belly all the time and inject it at different intervels during the day. She has been in the hospital and almost lost her. I can't imagine the fear they must feel in what could happen. But that is what friends are for... to cry with us and to feel our pain. We need each other. And when we have compassion for one another that is when we are most lilke Jesus.

Our Diabetic Life: There are some things you need to know...

I wanted to share a blog that I read yesterday. Its by a fellow D-mom who knows exactly what I myself, along with numerous other parents in the world, deal with on a daily basis.

As I read this blog, I thought, "Wow, thank you Lord..You knew I needed these encouraging words!" He always know just what we need, when we need it.

I have been amazed at the people that I have met and came into contact with since we found out about Colton's having diabetes. No matter how far away we live from each other, we KNOW and understand what each other goes through. We KNOW what it feels like to be frustrated with high blood sugars, to see your kid so sick he's puking his guts up, and its not because he's 'sick' with a virus or anything, but he's sick because his glucose levels are crazy high and he has ketones. Parents with kids who have diabetes know what ketones are and you don't have to explain it. You don't have to explain anything. You don't have to apologize for being fearful. You don't have to apologize for worrying about whether your child will go to bed and wake up the next morning.

Diabetic parents know what its like to feel like the day is going to drag on and on and on, even though we really know its not dragging on as slow as it seems. They know that numbers are going to be up and down and that its not because of anything that they did or didn't do. Its because they are kids, with a disease, that even though its 'controlled' with insulin, it can be so crazy out of control, that it will make your head spin.

I have blogged quite a bit about Colton's diabetes. Everyone knows how I feel. I hate it. I LOATHE it. Its an evil disease and I will not keep my feelings hidden nor will I apologize about the way I feel. Yes, he IS sick. He has an incurable deadly disease. There are some that say, "You should be thankful its not cancer!" Um, excuse me..did I ever say that I wasn't thankful its not cancer? No, I didn't. Im VERY thankful that its not cancer. Im thankful that it IS treatable. I thank the Lord EVERY sinlge day that the Lord gave me the wisdom to get Colton to the doctor, AGAIN, after taking him in numerous times off and on for weeks.

And I have also said, that unless you KNOW and LIVE a day in my house, and walk in my shoes, don't assume that you know how I feel. Don't sit there an tell me that I need to be thankful, b/c you have NO idea what I am feeling. Most people who know me, they KNOW that I give credit to the Lord for getting me through the last 11 years. Without HIM by my side, I can truthfully say I probably would not be here.

http://www.ourdiabeticlife.com/2011/09/there-are-some-things-you-need-to-know.html

Thank you again Meri for sharing this!